Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
