I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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