but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
