Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
