what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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