It was confusing and full of hummus
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
