Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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