When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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