In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
