The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The ass gains better be worth it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
