i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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