zippers are such a cool invention
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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