Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
