I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
