i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you traded sex for a burrito?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
