I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize