My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
