one might say we're banned from that church
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
