Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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