I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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