Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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