The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
