my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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