i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
