I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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