I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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