worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
