I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
