So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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