when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
