get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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