Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
