I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
