just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
