He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
