two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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