My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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