It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
