Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
