i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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