New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When are your genitals available?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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