that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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