I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize