i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
