WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
