STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
