i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
