i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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