Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
