My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
