We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
