just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
