Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
