Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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