he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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