I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
