a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
