Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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