you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
